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The
United States of Islamexica?
by Julia Gorin
September
1,
2005
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in a new window.
I
have a joke that goes: First we got bilingual schools
—
where Spanish-speaking
kids aren’t learning English, but English-speaking kids are reciting the
Pledge of Allegiance in Spanish. Then there was the California school where students were made to dress, fast, and pray like
Moslems for
three weeks. What's next for American public school children? Islamic prayer in
Spanish?
Well,
I thought I was kidding. Now that Venezuelan presidential dictator Hugo
Chavez is forging alliances within Iran, Iraq, and Libya, and is rumored to be
supplying false documents to 300 or so al-Qaida terrorists, I’m not so sure.
And when Ricky Martin turned up in Jordan recently, donning a black-and-white
"Palestinian" [Arab] kaffiyeh reading “Jerusalem is Ours,” I realized there really might be something to this trend
(after I got past my initial confusion that oh no, Puerto Rico also wants Jerusalem?!).
 Islamic
Society of North America numbers show there are about 40,000 Latino Moslems in
the U.S., according to a Christian Science Monitor article last year, and
“Latinos account for six percent of the 20,000 Moslem conversions in the United States each year, according to a report published by the Council on American-Islamic
Relations.”
The
Monitor item, out of Union City, NJ was titled “U.S. Latinas Seek
Answers in Islam,” and began by describing Jasmine Pinet as she “sits
on the steps outside a mosque here, tucking in strands of her burgundy hair
beneath a white head scarf, and explaining why she, a young Latina, feels that
she has found greater respect as a woman by converting to Islam.
“‘They're
not gonna say, “Hey mami, how are you?”’ Ms. Pinet says of Moslem men.
‘Usually they say, “Hello, sister.” And they don't look at you like a sex
object.’ ... Anecdotal evidence suggests that the number of Latino
converts to Islam may be rising."
No
kidding. Does the name Jose Padilla, a.k.a. Abdullah al-Muhajir, ring a bell?
That’s the former Chicago gang member and Moslem convert who was convicted last year for plotting to
either unleash a dirty bomb or nuke here, or just blow up New York apartment buildings. Padilla has company: the South American tri-border region
of Brazil, Paraguay and Argentina has become a training and hideout nexus for Middle Eastern terror groups like
Hamas and Hezbollah. And last week, a group of Mexicans took an example from
"Palestinians" [Arabs] while crossing into California illegally, throwing baseball-sized rocks at an overhead Border Patrol
helicopter, gashing the rotor and forcing the pilot to make an emergency
landing.
On
a more benign note, a recent CBS news report revealed that Iran is the nose job capital of the world. Whose ideal-nose photo are the young
women clutching when they walk into the plastic surgeon’s office? J. Lo’s!
We
may not be at the point of a Spanish-language Koran-study elective in
schools yet, but the Latin-Moslem vogue that’s been picking up steam calls for
at least some new vocabulary. To describe the 40,000 Latino Moslems, I
suggest the term Larabinos, and for the Jennifer Lopezes of Iran — since Iranians are not Arabs
— the more accurate, post-operation classification
would be Moslenas.
Lending
itself to the Hisparabic
chic is Michigan Rep. John Conyers’ Web site, which offers to translate the
page into either of two languages: Spanish or Arabic. Not to bolster the gruff
“Speak English!” crowd, but senior citizens aside, if you’re Hispanic,
don’t speak English, and you vote for Conyers, you’re probably looking to help La
Raza give parts of the country back to Mexico. And if you’re a non-senior-citizen
Moslem who doesn’t speak English and
votes Conyers, you’re probably looking to Islamicize the country.
Were these
two groups to find a common language, say Sparabic, they could merge into
a single entity called Moslecans, and form a fusion extremist wing
named al-Raza or La Qaida — which, under the guiding principle of “Su casa es
mi casa,” would work toward the creation of the United States of Islamexica.
And
why not? Let them fight the Chinese for it!
Copyright
© 2005 by Julia Gorin.
Julia Gorin
is a New York-based writer and contributing editor to Jewish
World Review and to FrontPageMag,
where this article first appeared. Visit her
website for more links to published writings.
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on this article.
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